Dude, She Ghosted You Because Of Your Stinkin’ Apartment!

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So you took her out for drinks, convinced her to come back to your place, you start Netflix’ing – but wait – there’s no chill. Or, she actually puts out for your sorry ass, but you never heard from her again. WTF?! No, there’s no confusion necessary here. There’s a reason, and that reason is your stinking apartment. Yes, in a scientific survey that polled over 2,000, the data came in an said a guy’s apartment is a huge deal breaker. And the following reasons – in order from first to worst – is what women hate most about your apartment, thus making your sexual advances, persona non grata.
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Damaged Upholstery

You know why it’s called a “love seat”? Because that’s where you get to make love. So make sure it’s not ripped or chewed out – or you’re not gonna get the chance to chew her out. Capiche?
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Inappropriate Artwork

Yes guys, women are so into comparing themselves to some push-up bra wearing, well lit, photoshopped, Hoochie Mama on some poster on your wall while you guys are getting in on. Great thinking with those pin-up girl posters, men.
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Lack Of Privacy

Got roommates, parents, or kids living with you? Sure, she may be into threesomes, but not with any of those people.
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Poorly Behaved Pets

Dogs are definitely a way into a woman’s heart – even a cat. But if your dog is an unneutered psycho that jumps all over anyone that enters the place, or licks your balls while you’re having sex in bed – forget it. No girl wants sloppy seconds down there.
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No Air Conditioning

See that image there? It’s a staged fantasy. A fantasy because no girl wants to have hot sweaty sex in your steam room of an apartment. Get some AC will you?
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Dirty Laundry

Eau de sweaty socks and filthy underwear will never be a fragrance sold at your local pharmacy? Why? Because it would make people wanna throw up all over you – just like your stinkin’ dirty clothes. Remember, if you want to blow a load you’ve got to do a load.
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Clogged Toilet

I can’t believe someone allowed this to happen for it to even register as a complaint. No comment you filthy pig(s).
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Grimy Bathroom

A girl with even an iota of decency will excuse herself when she gets to your place so she can freshen up. Does it look like anyone’s gonna get fresh in this??!
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Dingy Sheets

Your bed is where the magic happens. And by magic we’re referring to sex. What’s happened to that pillow and matching sheets is just an act of sweat mixed with poor housekeeping. Nothing magical about that.
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Smelly Home

All jokes and insults aside, if you had to choose between losing your sense of taste, or sense of smell – ten times out of ten you’re better off losing your taste buds. Because as science has proved it, when you lose your sense of smell, you lose you sex life as pheromones have everything to do with how turned on you get. So … men, if she walks in a smells greasy pizza boxes, an overflowing garbage, or worse – you’ll never ever ever be able to turn her on. Period. And period, is exactly what she’ll say she’s on when you try to put the moves on her.
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